Say your piece but say it in love

Tensions have been running high for a while now and it doesn’t look like we are going to get any reprieve soon. People are tired, anxious, depressed, and discouraged, and I for one, don’t blame them for feeling that way. We are living in some trying times and it is easy to forget the one thing we must do and that is to love one another as Christ commanded (Jn. 15:12, 17).

For all the good that social media can do for the Kingdom, it does present an opportunity for sinful tendencies to manifest. In the past several weeks, I have seen corrosive language spewed on newsfeeds and a lack of grace and restraint regarding other people’s opinions. In my observations, I wonder if we are seriously taking into consideration what Christ said, “by this [love] all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another.” (Jn 13:35)? For example, take any social feed about any hot button topic that Christians engage in and you will find accusations, name-calling, and even cursing one another. Regrettably, I have even fallen prey to the combative nature of my own heart and have had to repent of what I have said or more accurately, typed.

There is a lesson that a dear brother and mentor taught me as a younger man, that you can be right and still be wrong. Sounds contradictory but let me explain, you can have the truth and even speak the truth but the spirit behind the words can be just downright mean and disrespectful to the person you’re interacting with. Now don’t misunderstand me that I am encouraging all of us to just play “nice” or that the epitome of Christian virtue is being the “nice guy”. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, I would suggest that more damage has been done to the church by Christians wanting to be “nice” because they didn’t engage or confront errors when they should have. However, in recent days, the tendency for Christians to be acidic to one another requires that we add a little bit of base to balance the proclamation of truth.

The Bible calls us to be “peacemakers” (Matt. 5:9) and so what does that look like in a period where peace is absent?

It begins by loving your neighbor as yourself (Lev. 19:18). Those individuals who hold to differing opinions and are just as strong in their convictions as you are, are indeed your neighbor. Yes, it is challenging to love an individual when they aren’t so “neighborly”, however Christian, look past what is on the surface and see that they are a fellow image-bearer of God, deserving of care and respect.

Second, be willing to go the extra mile with an individual (Matt. 5:41) and bear patiently with them. For many, what is informing them is a past hurt or current struggle. I know in my own experience, the things that I have said or reacted to very strongly which resulted in less-than-kind words were from an internal struggle that I was currently dealing with.

This leads me to another point, it is important to check our own hearts before we engage each other, especially when there are so many opportunities to give our two-cents. As Luke 6:45 says, “out the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Asking simple questions like, “Is my heart in the right place?” or “Am I personalizing the issue?” is crucial because undoubtedly, if your heart is not right, it will come out in how you communicate.

Lastly, be willing to walk away or stop engaging. I have spent so much time and energy in conversations that were just arguments for argument's sake. The tit for tat can go on for hours to the detriment of not only your relationship with this individual but also to your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Yes, the idol of “the last word” is so tempting, but what is the point? Say your piece and be willing to go in peace.

As things continue to develop within our world today that demands our attention, let us remember that when the opportunity arises to give our input or dialogue with another, that we do it in a way that honors Christ and loves our neighbor.